A little flame in a dark, dark room.

Do you ever feel alone? Do you ever feel like you don’t make a difference?

Vulnerable moment: I’ve been feeling that way for the past few days.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’ve been taking the train to Negative Town one too many times this week. Maybe I’m just going through a sad spell because I feel like I haven’t seen sunshine in a week. Either way I look at it, I’m seeing that it has something to do with the inside. Not the outside circumstances.

I’m not really valuing myself. I’m not looking at myself and seeing any sort of worth. This has been a lifelong battle. I’ve always struggled with my worth. I’ve always struggled with the question, Do you really matter? Aren’t you just a fake? Oh, what gnarly lies from the Enemy those are.

I’m not a failure. I do make a difference. This week, Holley has been asking questions about your skills and strengths. I haven’t been able to respond to this yet. I wrote down a list of strengths I think I have in my journal. I wrote them down – can we say nausea without limits? Let’s just say I took that as a red flag. Maybe I should do some self evaluation for a few days.

I have a candle on my night table that is lit. One tiny little flame in a very dark room. It manages to illuminate everything. I might feel insignificant, but there is a light that resides deep inside of me that illuminates everything. It casts the shadows away. It penetrates the darkness. It says, This one is Mine. I am His; He is mine. What would I be without this man called Jesus? Nothing.

Thankfully, He doesn’t look at me and decides to give me the treatment I think I deserve. He treats me far better than that. If you sometimes feel the same way I do, let me just tell you something. You are so valued. You are so important. You are so loved. You are a beautiful creation that exudes the radiance and majesty of God. He made you in His image. That image is breathtaking. So are you.

Isn’t it funny how easily we can tell each other how amazing we are but we can’t do the same thing for ourselves? I can go all day making lists of my friends’ strengths and skills. But when it comes to me, I’m stumped for a week. Oh dear. There is something wrong with that picture, friends. I’m going to be continuing to work on that pattern.

What a blessing to know as we work all of this out, He is with us every step of the way? He loves us just as much when we’re shattered and frustrated as when we are radiant with the knowledge that He has completed us.